I love looking after myself, but unfortunately my body is less of a temple and more of the bathroom from Saw.

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Won’t lie, sometimes I’m too lazy to do anything about that. I want to feel better and I want to fell better now, from the comfort of my sofa, with Glee on the telly.

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If that’s something you relate to, you’re in luck - because I’ve been dying to start a trend and I think I’m onto something with this one; Lazy Self Care.

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That’s right! You can be a full blown Wellness Girlie without spending four hours a day on your skincare routine or having millions in the bank for at-home dermatology services!

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Let’s get into it.

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Q: How can you tell LJ wrote a blog?

A: When there’s a needless definition section ofc!

So what the fuck does Self Care even mean?

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Self Care:

def. The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own wellbeing and happiness, particularly during periods of stress or sadness.

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The charming gentlemen of Urban Dictionary define self care as ‘an umbrella term that Twitter/Tumblr SJWs use to excuse their poor financial decisions’.

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Firstly ew, men.

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Secondly it’s so far from the truth.

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Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or ‘screw over your coworkers’ as another Nice Guy put it, having a bath or taking time out of your evening housework to have a cuppa is self care - and that’s exactly the type of self care we’re gonna be focusing on today; the easy breezy, cheap and cheerful, nice ‘n’ easy (not sponsored) kind.

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Ignore all those TikToks telling you that you need to get up at 5am to do yoga and get in an early morning hike to feel good about yourself, and let me show you the jobs of looking after yourself the realistic way, because as the Great American Scholar Beyonce once said: ‘It’s not about perfection, it’s about purpose.’

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If you’re not onto the power of French pharmaceutical grade skincare, let me put you on; either through this mini section or the whopping article I wrote singing its praises over here. This shit will change your whole life. It’s just so beyond good, easy to apply, and formulated for sensitive skin with anti-pollutants, so no longer will you have a twenty step routine that takes up half your evening. You can spend your new found time doing whatever makes you feel good instead of worrying if you applied your third zit treatment in a thin enough layer. C’est la fucking vie.

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We’ve also got loads of really good non-French skincare options that work just as well for all my France Haters out there. We’re focusing on clean, simple, effective skincare today, especially products that are all-rounders. The more time and energy we can save, the better.

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So our new really good really simple skincare routine consists of a face wash, skin treatment, moisturiser, and SPF for the AM, as well as a face mask for you to bust out whenever you’re feeling like having a proper relax in the bath or on the sofa with a fat glass of wine.

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My personal favourite lazy self care hack is to wash your face in a bowl of filtered water rather than at the sink. It’s a small choice that’ll make you feel extra boujee. Plus if you keep your filter in the fridge you’ll get to wake up with a face full of cold water which is the lazy version of Bella Hadid’s face icing, and being a lazy Bella Hadid is all I’ve ever wanted from life.

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Oh my god I fucking love a bath. There’s nothing like it. It’s the ultimate self care activity as far as I’m concerned. Tbh I just think that bathing is so ritualistic for women. All that hot water and steam and good smelling body wash and vanilla scented shampoo UGH it just gets me wet (get it?).

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Washing yourself is such a really good experience not just for your hygiene, but for your mental health too. Sometimes things like showering can feel like a chore, but making it feel like a treat is a great way to not only start taking better care of yourself but to incentivise yourself to get squeaky clean. There’s nothing wrong with a good ol’ sit down shower from time to time btw, I mean even the best of us have to pop a squat to shave (unless you’re like a ballerina or something in which case, props). Trust me, if you’re after a really quick fix to feeling better, a good scrub will help to sort that out.

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We’ve got loads of really good stuff for getting all clean, whether you’re a baddie who baths or a slut for a shower.

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My personal tip for a bath that just feels luxurious is to use a range of products with the same scent, or smells that compliment one another.

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My best combos are:

- Vanilla and shea butter

- Mango and coconut

- Mint and eualyptus

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If you want your steamy showers to be super spa-like, get yourself some eucalyptus branches and hang them around your shower head. It’ll make your whole bathroom smell heavenly and clear up your airways. It’s like the shower equivalent of drinking cold water after a mint.

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Book Recs

For goblin girls, by goblin girls.

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Reading is great because the only part of you that needs to move is your eyeballs. I, for one, am addicted to all things “unhinged”. Give me a woman on the absolute brink, and I will read that book in one sitting and think about it for days to come. I want to see people crumbling, people whose mental health is so suspect that it’s a wonder that they show up for work every day. I want to see people falling apart, committing unhinged acts. I want to feel better about myself because, yeah I’m fucking insane, but I haven’t yet faked my own kidnap/murder to get back at my piece of shit lying, cheating husband....

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Here’s some really good books.

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The Virgin Suicides

Jeffrey Eugenides

For: sad girls who just need a hug but would prefer to wallow for the time being.

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Gorgeous, creepy. A suburban mythology. The Virgin Suicides follows the once-teenage boys from the same neighbourhood as the Lisbon family as they recount the year of the staggered suicides of five teenage sisters, and the effects of death not only on the immediate family, but the wider world.

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Rest in peace Lux Lisbon you would have loved Lana Del Rey’s unreleased songs. It’s not a spoiler - the book is literally called The Virgin Suicides, you knew it was gonna happen.

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Lapvona

Otessa Moshfegh

For: gross girls who want to read some foul literature

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Dizzying and fantastical. Haunting depictions of a medieval village plagued with tragedy and manipulation. Where does god fit in such evilness? Where does god fit in madness? Perhaps religion is a madness of its own. Every character is delusional and wicked in their own ways, the story both languid and shocking. Clever, funny, and disturbing, split into 4 parts: summer, winter, fall, spring and the subsequent disillusion of reality after each season passes. With morale and sanity deteriorating after each disaster, they look to god, their hands twitching to pray, only to discover that dark forces are more powerful than their faith.

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Little Women

Louisa May Alcott

For: girls with big hearts and big dreams

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Little Women is a story of growing up, moral betterment, career and marital aspirations, and fortitude in the face of disappointment and tragedy. Elegant, poignant, and haunting, this is a great way to dip your toe into classics without having to struggle through all the overly flowery victorian prose. Way less unhinged than our other picks, but sometimes you just want to get into reading something really nice, you get me?

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Learn To Crochet & Knit

I love little bits of me-time that I can get into from the comfort of my couch, and anything that will help me get even cosier is a double win. I can’t wait to knit, quilt, and crochet my way to the ultimate blanket fort.

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We actually took a self care break in the middle of our work day to learn to knit, and being the kind hearted girlies we are, we recorded the tutorial just for you guys over here.

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We got into the knitting zone whilst we recorded our self care episode of our podcast, Girls (in Tech). You should listen to it.

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Get Into Something Artsy

Try drawing and painting! I might be biased thanks to my Fine Art Degree (BA Hons, thanks for asking) but I reckon sitting down to knock out a couple of still life sketches or throwing some graphite down til a face appears is super therapeutic.It’s a great way to wind down at the end of the day and limit your screen time a little bit which we could all do with.

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You don’t need to be Davinci with tits or anything, just get your feelings down in picture form alongside some pretty words. It’s journalling but for girlies with a manic pixie dream girl individuality complex.

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