The season of the summer dinner party has officially begun. Bunches of pastel coloured wildflowers, whimsical table-scapes, and picture-perfect salads are all over our instagram feeds once again, and I’m so fucking here for it. Family style sharing plates, more bottles of rose than you can count, pasta salads, all your friends in sun-dresses... it’s any bonafide hostess’ (or host’s!) heaven.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve been waiting for this moment all year long. I spent those cold winter nights, not in the pub with my friends, or sipping on mulled wine at Winter Wonderland. Nope, I hibernated, waking up only long enough to drag myself to work, and to reminisce about warmer days past. It’s no secret: i’m a summer baby. Well, technically, I’m a summer hostess. I live for those tipsy late afternoons, poofy sun-dress on, aperol spritz in hand, surrounded by friends, tucking into a meticulously planned picnic (that I undoubtedly made an entire Pinterest board for). Honourable mention goes out to my July bday last year: a Marie Antoinette themed outdoor dinner. Corsets, baby pink wildflowers, and an obscene amount of cake were mandated. Not to be dramatic, but I’ve never been happier.
If this sounds like you, you’ve come to the right place. I’m here to talk all things hosting, dinner parties, and summer decor: the only things that matter in the British summertime, obviously. However, where I’m choosing to start this series might confuse you. I’m not kicking things off by explaining how to arrange a Pinterest perfect table-scape, nor how to make a charcuterie board even the French would be proud of (TBH If you’re reading this, I think I can safely assume that you’ve already got those two sussed). Nope, I’m here to show you how to radically transform the unsung hero of the dinner party: your downstairs loo.
Why tf should I care about my downstairs loo?
Neglecting your downstairs loo when hosting is like shaving your legs perfectly, but completely forgetting about your hairy big toe. You might have hoovered your house from top to toe, spent hours placing candles, rose petals and hand-illustrated menus on your dinner table, but if your guest bathroom is still crusty, dusty...or heaven-forbid, black-mouldy, the polished hostess vibe you’re going for is going to fall short.
Obviously this is such a trivial thing to care about. And, if you don’t remember to make your loo sparkle, absolutely nobody is going to think any differently about you (it’s a fucking loo! Who cares!).
BUT... sometimes it’s nice to make everything nice! It feels wonderful to provide a beautiful experience for those that you love most. There’s such a singular pleasure in pulling off a night so dazzling that your loved ones remember it for months, if not years to come. Hosting isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s mine, and it might be yours too. And if it is, you’re going to fucking love this.
How do I make my loo the star of the show?
Ah yes, the question that nobody has asked, ever! Luckily for you, dear reader, I have all the answers. Here’s my top 5 tips for making the most of your lil’ loo and knocking the socks of your guests.
- Candles, candles and more candles
Nothing screams ‘i’ve thought of everything’, quite like having a statement candle quietly burning in the downstairs loo. On a practical level, its always a good idea to have some form of scent-enhancer in the shitter when you’ve got guests over. Nobody knows when the urge to drop one might strike, and there’s nothing more humiliating than the feeling of laying logs in someone else’s bathroom, when you know that the other guests will know exactly what you’ve been doing in there. We’ve all had a mortifying experience of this calibre that still haunts us, don’t pretend like you don’t. So, having something odour-masking pumping out delicious scent all party long is as much an empathetic gesture, as it is a decor-motivated one.
On a more aesthetic level, deciding to place a scented candle in your loo opens up a world of customisable opportunities. You could match the scent to the theme - think Sicilian lemon for your Italian pasta-making night; you could match the wax colour to your tablescape; you could even match the candle title to the event - like choosing this ‘Morrocan Orange and Mimosa’ candle from Holistic London for a mimosa-heavy boozy brunch. The possibilities are endless, quite literally. P.s. I also love this candle because it’s super sustainable, made from 100% soy wax and manufactured in the UK. Talk about good for your bog, and the planet!
Plus, if you’re someone who obsessively buys candles (aka if you’re me), then this will be an easy task!
- Smoke and mirrors
Using mirrors to make a small room appear larger and brighter is a pretty well established interior design trick. Try out some mirror magic if you feel that your loo is grotty and cramped. A good mirror really does go a long way. If your budget doesn’t stretch to splurging on a large ass mirror (cos those are truly so spenny), consider thrifting a bunch of smaller mirrors and arranging them as a mirror-wall feature; kind of like a disco-ball, but flat. The light will refract of the mirror collection, and the room will appear a million times larger. It’s such a simple way to improve that unloved space, plus it will give your guests more space to admire themselves and touch up their looks - a win win. Also, picking up your mirrors from a charity or thrift shop is a much more sustainable way to kit out your bathroom, than supporting a cheaply manufactured mirror retailer such as H&M Home.
- Houseplants, duh
Whatever the room, houseplants are always a good idea. Do I have to explain this further? Didn’t think so. Get your ass down to Columbia Road flower market and go pick out a comfort house plant to make your unloved bathroom a better place for everyone. Side note: this market is the cutest fucking thing, you must go.
- The fancy hand soap
You might not know it, but your choice of hand soap says a lot about who you are as a person. Fancy hand soap screams “I’ve got my life together”, but too fancy says “I think I’m better than you, and I probably am”. Something plastic free and re-fillable tells the world that you’re an eco warrior, and no hand soap? That tells the world that you’re a literal psychopath and nobody should touch your food for fear of salmonella. If you’ve never overthought hand soap, start overthinking. It’s time to find the soap that perfectly encapsulates you as a person. I like to think of myself as a hand soap from Aesop: beautiful, understated, sleek. But realistically, I’m probably still a Body Shop satsuma soap bar. A girl can dream. If you’re stuck in existential dread trying to find yourself the hand soap that perfectly encapsulates yourself, don’t stress, go pick up a bottle of Land & Water soap. It’s a lovely middle ground: fancy, but not obnoxiously so, sustainable, but not made of hemp, and it smells unreal. Thank me later.
- Make a statement
Get a funky poster, a neon light, a mural or even a life-size cut out of Nicholas Cage... I don’t care what your prerogative is, but you have a personality! Let it show! The bathroom is the window to the soul, as the old saying goes (I think). My personal fave is this “please don’t do coke in the bathroom” poster. It says everything it needs to. And it’s cute!
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