Move over Joaquin Phoenix, you may have penetrated the non-existent minds of those who decided they were interesting enough to relate to a misunderstood character, but the original bitch is back. Not that she ever went anywhere. Sorry Joker fans, but your “folie a deux” delusions will just never be as fantastic, as a life in plastic. If your dopamine craving brain spends as much time on the internet as me, you’ll have seen the non-stop explosive marketing for Barbie 2023 (almost as explosive as Oppenheimer's atomic bomb) coming out on the 21st of July in the UK. As the release date of Greta Gerwig’s masterpiece edges closer, let’s Scuba Barbie dive into the cultural significance of the universally loved plastic blonde bombshell.

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The year is 1956 BB (Before Barbie). Ruth Handler discovers the doll Bild Lilli during a 1956 trip to Germany with her husband, Elliot Handler. Ruth saw that there was a gap in the market for dolls that allowed children to play out adult roles. So she created Barbie as a way for girls to imagine themselves as fashion models and career women. She modelled her after the German doll Bild Lilli and named the doll after her daughter, Barbara. Elliot Handler, the co-founder of Mattel, is the company that would eventually go on produced Barbie. She was first introduced in March 1959 at the American International Toy Fair in New York City.

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Barbie was a hit from the start. Her slender figure, glam black and white striped swimsuit with sunglasses, high heels, and ponytail, quickly made her one of the most popular dolls in the world. In the 1960s, Barbie kitted out her wardrobe and began to take on different careers, from astronaut to nurse to cabin crew, as women were beginning to enter the workforce in greater numbers. However, Mattel and Barbie faced their fair share of controversies. One of the biggest was in the 1990s, when critics accused Barbie of promoting an unrealistic body image and setting beauty standards, contributing to eating disorders in young girls. She was also accused of promoting sexist career choices and gender stereotypes. Fact: There are only 12 female scaffolders in the UK. #girlscanbescaffolderstoo.

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Both celebrated and criticised as a symbol of femininity, beauty standards, and gender roles, Barbie has been marketed as an empowering role model with her various careers. A successful businesswoman, a doctor, a pilot and astronaut - professions that were traditionally male-dominated. Critics of Barbie argue that Barbie's exaggerated hourglass figure and emphasis on appearance send harmful messages to young girls about what it means to be feminine and beautiful. They argue that Barbie's focus on fashion and consumerism reinforces the idea that girls' value is based on their appearance and ability to conform to societal expectations. The concept of femininity is complex and nuanced, and its meaning can vary depending on cultural and social contexts, as well as individual experiences and identities. Is Barbie the reason so many of us have ‘’Almond Mums’’?

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No. Barbie continues to evolve, adapting to changing social norms and trends. Barbie has become more inclusive and representative, featuring dolls with disabilities, dolls with different body types, and dolls of different ethnicities. She could of said “Fuck it, I wanna be skinny and pink forever!” but Barbie continues to take on new careers, reflecting the changing roles of the girlies in society. Barbie is more than just a toy, she is a cultural icon. Barbie has been featured in countless movies, TV shows, and even video games. She has inspired fashion designers, artists, and musicians. Barbie has become a collector's item, with rare and vintage dolls selling for thousands of dollars. I fucking love Barbie.

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“She’s everything. He’s just Ken.’’

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This quote has already taken the internet by storm and the men are furious! I am feeding off their tears. What do we do now when we’re really angry that someone on the internet dares to have a differing opinion to us? We tweet, but sorry cry baby Piers Morgan, this movie ain't for you.

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If you’re unfamiliar with Barbie lore, let me lay it out for you. Barbie, is a grown, adult woman, who can be whatever the hell she wants to be. She has careers, positions of power and royalty, homes, second homes, clothes, shoes, cars, pets, kids, hobbies, interests, a buzzing social life and all the accessories a girl can dream of. Her most consistency present background accessory? Ken. Ken exists to be Barbie’s boyfriend. That’s it. He’s just Ken.

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If you're going to see Oppenheimer instead. I suggest you revaluate.

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Barbie is out in cinemas across the UK on 21st July.